Honey, tell the kids that tag is all fun and games until someone loses an eye

Hello cinephiles!

Yes. Yes. I know. I've been a deliquent little blogger. But I've been traveling, encountering ghosts, and being all around obsessive as per usual. However, you should be involved and it just goes to show my maternal love has not been lost when I admit... I've been thinking of you.

Speaking of being involved... imagine my surprise when I was tagged this morning for a rousing meme via Nathaniel at Film Experience. Well, I put the loaded gun I was cleaning down and gathered all my cinephile strength to answer the following.

ARDEN'S ANSWERS TO THE ROUSING GAME OF TAG "MEME"

1. Popcorn or candy?
This really is the debate, isn't it? Yes, we can complain and pontificate about what film we're seeing until the proverbial bovine make it back to the homestead. But it really comes down to this question. This is practically impossible to answer definitively. It depends on what kind of mood you are in. A similar dilemma is the "French Toast vs. Eggs Sunny Side Up w/ a Side of Sausage" Fiasco I continually find myself a part of at every brunch. I would say, on average, candy. I usually get Twizzlers because that plastiky-sugary taste is synonymous with cinema in my book. Althought if price, time, calories and decency are not a factor... I'd go for both.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness. Okay, that was three movies but I think it's a disgrace that I call myself a Bruce Campbell fan without having viewed any of these. Why haven't I seen them? The answer is simple. I should've watched these films when I was, like, 14. Now I'm a little worried to view them as I fear their inbred-genre campiness might have a minimal effect on me and leave me disenchanted. Also, I dread the idea of watching these films by myself. No fun. I feel like I should throw a viewing party or something. My birthday is coming up...

[Note: One movie that I've been meaning to see forever and finally saw this past week is The Goonies. Upon hearing I'd never seen it, my paramour remarked: "That's like saying you sacrifice people to Satan."]

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
Good one, Nathaniel. Of course, we all want to say Hilary Swank. But I would snatch the 1981 Best Picture Oscar from the producers of Chariots of Fire and give it to Warren Beatty for Reds.


4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Man, I really want that white dress with black birds on the shoulder that Leslie Caron wears in Gigi.

5. Your favorite film franchise is...
Pirates of the Caribbean... obviously...

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
Off the top of my head... Robert Zemeckis, Frank Capra, Walter Matthau, Billy Wilder, and Elaine May. I don't know if we're allowed to choose dead people. These are all people whose brains I want to pick pretty badly. But they all seem like they would be a lot of fun. Like I want to know what was going on with Stanley Kubrick but I don't really want to have dinner with him because I feel like it would be uncomfortable. I would serve them pasta carbonara. It's my favorite thing to cook and my favorite thing to eat.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
Whenever that happens. I always think, "If this were a George Orwell novel, what would await that person once they leave this theater?"

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days
This is really tough. I'm gonna go with The Bride.

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Hands down. The torture scene in Audition. I saw it at the New Beverly and I thought I was going to have to throw up. I was pretty sure I was going to vomit on my date. A runner-up would be basically all of In the Realm of the Senses. That. Was. F-ed. Up.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
I think, action/adventure. You cannot beat really good action. When it's done well, it's like watching the old MGM musicals. Nothing makes me want to stand up and cheer like a good sequence, with good music and an excellent pay-off. I think the genre gets a bad wrap now because no one is making GOOD action films. Michael Bay, et. al. are settling for the lowest common denominator. I think Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of the best films ever made.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
Well a year isn't that long at a major studio. Even if I greenlight a crapload of stuff it wouldn't sail through the various stages of production until my year was up most likely. But if I could shepard the projects from pre-production to release. I think I would greenlight high-concept pictures but hire unknown talent and cheaper directors to make it. Essentially selling films on their plots. Not their accessories.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?
Clyde. Clyde. Glorious. Glorious Clyde.

13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey?
I'm tagging Cinefille, Kendra, and, of course, Defender of Future.