New Review! GRINDHOUSE (2007, dir. Rodriguez/Tarantino)

Planet Terror (♥) / Death Proof
Arden ♥s Planet Terror

Yes! The official day of movie geekdom has come to pass and two of the most prominent directors representing the Wikipedia generation have JOINED FORCES to create the high concept and hook of GRINDHOUSE. This is how this makes me and the Rodriguez to my Tarantino, Defender of Future, feel:
BLOOD! GUTS! FAKE TRAILERS! REFERENCES TO TV SHOWS WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF! A MACHINE GUN LEG! AN ANTI-CLIMATIC CAR CHASE SEQUENCE! This is us 3 and a half hours later...

And now... the joint review!

DEFENDER: Wow. Blood. There was a lot of it. When there is so much blood in a movie that I'm laughing my head off, that's pretty much the desired level, or I guess volume. I was especially happy with the multiple references to the duo's other joint-venture, From Dusk 'Till Dawn. Tom Savini's guest appearance, while a given, made me very happy. Him chasing after a wedding ring, trying to fit it onto his chopped off ring finger, is about as funny as Sex Machine's "Groin Gun". I hope you've figured out which film I enjoyed more.

ARDEN: Oh yes! PLANET TERROR. Honestly, I think about 8-9 months from now I will still confidently feel that Rodriguez's entry for this double feature, is one of the best films of 2007. This movie was GREAT! It was so gloriously bad. So detailed in its awfulness. The performances were fantastic. I haven't seen such good "bad" acting since the last David Lynch film I made it through. I was shocked by McGowan and Shelton. They threw themselves into their roles but never took themselves too seriously.

DEFENDER: Wow, his music? I've always loved Rodriguez's scores (which he, of course, does himself), and this one was absolutely perfect, because it fell into two categories: good but gritty/tacky/raunchy, and so crap-tastically bad that it was brilliant. And the movie had a theme! Like an easily recognizable one that took multiple forms. In it's shittyiness, I think this was his best score ever.

ARDEN: And what I appreciated the most was that it achieved what I believe Rodriguez and Tarantino set out to do with GRINDHOUSE. He lovingly and beautifully recreated a genre that no one can really sit down and enjoy at this point. It does a good job of making the shock and the exploitation of a beat-up print of a zombie film enjoyable for the average 21st century audience member.

DEFENDER: Totally. It was an interesting (and I believe wise) choice for both directors to set their films in the modern day, as opposed to, say, 1976. And Rodriguez's use of gags like the sound cutting out, the film deteriorating, a reel being lost, and the change of color and skipped frames, all had purpose within the film. At first everyone in the theater was pissed at the sound cutting out, until some guy yelled "It's part of the movie" and we all got it. And when I looked back at it, this was clearly intentional, since none of the dialogue we missed was relevant, and it was better that we didn't see the missed reel of film. Just genius.

ARDEN: Totally. The sound cutting out was the closest thing to post-modern alienation you're gonna find in a mainstream film. I mean, I was INVOLVED in this movie! I would fork up another $11 to see a sequel or to see Planet Terror again. I'm sure there were a bunch of Romero references on top of Rodriguez referencing himself but they were cleverly done. There was a sense of purpose behind it all... As opposed to Mr. Tarantino...

DEFENDER: Yeah... Tarantino seemed a bit self-involved in Death Proof. Arden and I counted the gratuitous shots of women's feet. I think we got to like 8, not including the section she closed her eyes for. I mean, we get it, man! You like feet! And every reference I heard in this movie was from stuff so obscure that even when I KNEW the reference, I was confused. There's a big difference between referencing obscure pop culture, and barely speaking the English language.

ARDEN: There's that POV shot from inside a trunk! NO WAIT! It's from inside the engine of the car! Ooohooo! You didn't see that coming. Quentin, I love you. You know I love you but... when you get to the point where most of what you're referencing is your own films... that's Kevin Smith territory not Godard territory. And at least, Smith grew up and got married. You're still banging groupies. Death Proof kind of smells a little desperate... am I wrong?

DEFENDER: Not to mention Rodriguez's part for Tarantino was written better than the part Tarantino wrote for himself! And RODRIGUEZ did the REAL POV from inside a trunk! I mean, despite appearances and my biases past, I was actually more excited for Death Proof than Planet Terror. But Death Proof just didn't seem to fit into the mold of "grindhouse film" as well as Planet Terror. That's not to say it was bad: I actually enjoyed the film, and it has one of the most ridiculous crash sequences I've seen in a movie (and that Arden hasn't).

ARDEN: Asshole. It was scary and I had to cover my eyes. Tarantino's whole thing was always about what a film nerd he was. Now, about 15 years after he burst onto the scene, his thing seems to be more about what a straight up agoraphobic nerd he is. There's a whiff of perversion surrounding Death Proof that took a lot of the fun and naturalism out of his usual rapid-fire dialogue.

DEFENDER: You know who this movie needed? Samuel L. Jackson. Like just one monologue. That's all I wanted. Every good Tarantino movie has Sammy in there somewhere (he was even facelessly seen in Kill Bill: Volume 2), and this felt like a skeleton without him. Kurt Russell was awesome, but no one can match Mr. Jackson for badass.

ARDEN: I just felt all the actors were bad. And even if they weren't bad, they were badly directed. Zoe Bell was badass as herself. Having met her (and I don't mind name dropping this one) I felt she brought her inherent breeziness to the rest of the ensemble that was very much "aware that I am working with Quentin Tarantino: ICON." Bell also embodies Death Proof's raison d’être which is that she performs the stunt during the car chase that all this aimless masturbating has been leading up to.

DEFENDER: I will agree with that, though perhaps not as harshly. I liked the film, but I didn't like it the way I like Tarantino's other movies that I like. You, like, know what I mean? Maybe I have a bias because I got to watch girls this whole time. Then again, feet weird me out.

BOTTOM LINES?!?!!!:

ARDEN: Planet Terror will knock your socks off if you're a Rodriguez, Romero or Stephen Chow fan. You snobs will feign you liked Death Proof more but that's just because we have to wait so long between Tarantino films. I thought it was quality over quantity, Quentin? Now I'm just waiting around for another wankfest? SCREW THIS! (I love you. We are going to be so happy together.)

DEFENDER: Planet Terror makes From Dusk 'Till Dawn or Sin City look like an After School Special. If you're looking for gore, guts, and gutsy chicks with gore all over them, this is probably the movie for you. If you are looking for more chicks, Death Proof is worth staying around for. If you are bored by lots of dialogue, stay through the ridiculously awesome fake trailers, then hightail it out of there and watch 300 again.